Virtually Worthless
Microsoft urged me to try their Virtual Agent the other day. I thought it might be able to answer my question, so I tried. It failed.
Then they urged me again...
Thanks!
Thanks to those who asked to get the Snoof out of the box. He's almost there.
Notable Note
Greer writes:
Hi,
I am a big fan of webcomics and I really like yours, I think that your characters are cute and I like the fact that, randomly you chose a furry Martian bug thing and a mermaid to become friends. Also, I like how he is a shy, contemplative spirit, and she is bold and adventurous (even if they might be just like each other on the inside)! Thank you for making these splendid comics! I will be sure to tell all of my friends about them!
Keep calm and doodle on!
Hey Greer, I'm sending you a sketch in thanks for your Notable Note.
"Doodle on" is my new battle cry!
-Charlie
A Christmas Story
Once upon a time, I worked briefly for the IRS. As Christmas approached, I found it funny that Luke’s lovely account of Jesus’ birth in the Bible said, “…it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed.” So I drew up this Christmas card.
I only found out later that “taxed” in the King James Bible is a poor translation.
America's Got Talent!
When I was a kid, I had a book of Magical Science Tricks (or was it Scientifical Magic Tricks). One trick explained how to balance a salt shaker on its edge, using a small pile of salt. The cube-shaped salt crystals stack up to form a teeny restraining wall.
This is how I spend my time, now, when I’m waiting for food to arrive in a restaurant. However, you need the right combination of salt type, table surface, and shaker design for it to work. The last time it did work, I had to document the achievement. I don’t know the names of my fellow diners, but you can see they are impressed.
Review
I just saw the movie Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017). This has been a long time coming, although I didn’t know it.
Several years ago, I was browsing one of the larger comics & fantasy stores – Forbidden Planet, New York – and stumbled across something unfamiliar. It was a 1975 edition of Valerian, agent spatio-temporel, “L’ambassadeur Des Ombres (Dargaud).” It was in French, I didn’t speak French, and it cost more than I wanted to spend. But it had a wonderful bunch of space aliens in it, and I liked the way they, and the heroine, were drawn.
It was great fun, flipping through the imaginative pages, trying to figure out what was going on. I have bought many comic books and had to dispose of many comic books, but I held onto that one. Recently, another publisher, Cinebook, started reprinting and translating Valerian, including Book Six, “Ambassador of the Shadows.” Although I have bought several of the other translations, I haven’t really wanted to buy Book Six.
So now a movie has come out, based on Valerian. It’s a little late, since little things the artists inspired, like Star Wars, have eclipsed it. Much like the way John Carter came out too late, after its descendants stole ITS thunder.
Interestingly, much of the movie takes ideas and images from Book Six, even though the title comes from Book Two and there were twenty other books. Maybe that volume being one chosen to import and the one that caught my eye weren’t entirely random.
By the way, the movie is good, if you don’t mind fashion models in outer space. It is fast-moving, with a consistent tone, heart, and rich, original imagery. Spoiler: to the movie’s credit, Valerian does NOT save the universe and NO big fortress nor spaceship blows up at the end.
P.S. These little scoundrels from Book Six remind me of the three bat brothers from Pogo, although they could also be based on Huey, Dewey, and Louie.
Now It Can Be Told
So, Mermsy’s 2:00 AM rest stop experience is inspired by a 4-day bus ride I took from Palo Alto to Akron.
Rest stops were rather strange. I’d feel obliged to get out of the bus at every opportunity, but the outside world was a bit of a shock.
At night, I would stumble from a dark bus into strange buildings with harsh lights. My favorites were the casinos where people were chattering, bells were ringing, and slot machines flashing.
After sitting upright for two days, I was probably suffering from sleep deprivation. By the third day my muscles had totally atrophied, so I no longer felt the need to get out at all.
The MoCCA has gone cold
Now the seats are all empty, the bellow of the crowd has quieted, and they're sweeping up the confetti. The Small Press comics show is done.
I sold some books, handed out lots of flyers, and met some fun people. Yeah, that's how most zine sellers report the experience...maybe NEXT time, little green men will leviate to my table and offer me a seven-volume deal with Barsoom Books.
If you found your way here from the URL on a book or a flyer, welcome! And thank you if you bought a book!
(Ten points if you can identify the image of the sweeper.)
Hot off the presses!
I am jazzed…just visited a print shop and accepted a proof for printing my first small zine.
I have a table (half a table) at the MoCCA Arts Festival Small Press comics show https://www.societyillustrators.org/mocca-arts-festival April 1 and 2, in Manhattan. The image above is its poster by Becky Cloonan. I’ll be selling a zine reprinting the first 36 “Bureau of Beasties” strips. Plus a Stunning Full Color Cover!
(Table H 259B)
So, that’s what I’ve been doing instead of posting new installments – I’ve been formatting the PDF files for the zine. That’s my excuse. To receive email messages announcing when the strip updates, please contact me at CBOATNER aht IGC doht ORG or via my Feedback page.
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How did they KNOW that's what I wanted?
Dynamo Duck, part Deux
The superhero “Dynamo” (from my last post) had a memorable enemy. Called the Iron Maiden, she was a statuesque woman improbably clad in form-fitting armor. The two flirted while fighting, maybe more than Batman and Catwoman.
This was my take on the two, adapting a scene from the comics.
Dynamo Duck
Once upon a time, I was working on a project with John Carbonaro to bring the T.H.U.N.D.E.R. Agents back to the comical book reading public. (This was not the first time and would not be the last.)
The characters were super heroes who were authorized by the United Nations and equipped by scientific geniuses. One of their heavy hitters was Dynamo, a strong fellow whose molecular density was increased by a unique belt. I liked him because he was less complicated than Superman. He didn’t fly, didn’t have X-ray vision, etc. He just hit things and survived things hitting him.
Anyway, one day John visited and said in a conspiratorial tone, “Dynamo Duck.”
That inspired a story by me which James W. Fry III drew in pencil, but that’s as far as it went. But if I had drawn Dynamo Duck, this is what he would have looked like.
NOTE: Not to be confused with most of the stuff that comes up when you google “Dynamo Duck.”
Now It Can Be Told
The "Comics & Coins" shop in the Mall where Mermsy bargains with the owner is based on a real place. "Treasure Island," in the shopping center across the street from my High School, sold coins, stamps, and other collectibles. My friend and I would go there and dig through the shelves of comics for back issues of X-Men. (The real owner charged very reasonable prices, I hasten to add.)
This. End. Here. (I wish)
Please.
Stop.
Using. Periods. For.
Dramatic.
Effect.
Mutant Mail-Box
Annie from New York City writes:
I was just reading through your blog - gotta' say, I *really* like it! Pithy observations and comments. Short and sweet - very nice! Just like your illustrations. Or maybe that's just cuz the Snoof isn't that tall.
Hey! How's 'bout a journal or notebook on Cafe Press (for the store)? OMG - a "Kisses 5¢" mug would be SOOOOO adorable! Dude, your illustrations are TOTALLY sell-able.
Well, I am blushing! Annie, you win the first "Notable Note" award -- a pen & paper drawing either of the Snoof, or by the Snoof. - Charlie
Mutant Mail-Box
David from Queens, New York, noticed Part One ending recently and asks, “What’s up, doc, for Part Two?”
Important question! First, the Snoof can't escape a trip to the giant, terrifying shopping mall. Then our heroes ride a bus. Then I might actually get around to justifying the title of this comic strip. -Charlie
The Kid's Still Got It
As I left the subway platform, I saw a boy ahead of me, standing at the top of the stairs, blocking my quick exit. As I got closer, I realized that he was reading a book. “How careless,” I fumed.
He walked painfully slowly down the stairs, step by step, eyes never leaving the book. When I edged past him, I saw it was a Harry Potter book.
Leaving the station, I looked back and saw him motionless at the bottom of the stairs, still transfixed.
"How cool," I smiled.
Quotable quotes
"None of us can stand by when a state enters the business of legislating identity and insists that a person pretend to be something or someone that they are not..."
- Attorney General Loretta Lynch
(italics added)
Non sequitur
In 1963, National Periodical Publications first published a comics series called The Doom Patrol <link> Patrol about three heroes – a robot man, another man who could release an energized spirit from his body, and a woman who could get big.
In 2002, Kerry Callen created a comics series called Halo & Sprocket <link> about three roommates – a robot, an angel, and a woman with a big personality.
A couple of years ago, I thought time was due for a mash-up.
